RuAnCa: The Beauty of Age

The Beauty of Age

I saw a wonderful thing happen the other day which made me realize that in among all the hurt and pain in the world there is goodness and love.

I had stopped at a crossing to let an elderly woman, on a walker, make her way to the other side when the wheel of it got stuck. She tried in vain to get it untangled and as there was a lot of traffic behind me of course there were honks (from impatient drivers). Not far off was a bus stop and a number of people were there waiting for the bus - upon realising the elderly woman's predicament a young man in jeans and untidy hair came to her rescue. Not only did he untangle the wheel from the kerb but he also helped her across the road! Once I had moved on I saw, in my rear view mirror, a bus arrive and then leave - the young man was on the other side so hopefully it was not his bus!

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.

Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

Scott Adams

I thought of the many instances I had heard of, read about and seen where elderly people have been mistreated, abused and often ignored. Many of these people have been living with relatives who either force them to do all the housework, take their money or abuse them mentally if not physically!

One particular case I read about was a middle aged woman who befriended an elderly, lonely man and after gaining his trust, she gradually stole thousands of dollars from him over months of so-called friendship,

We hear of the elderly being neglected in homes, either by staff or their own family who never visit them,

Sadly abuse happens even in everyday life. How many times when you are shopping or taking an elderly person out, people who serve you talk over them and treat them as if they do not exist even if they are the person buying or wanting the service! I have experienced this with my own mum, who is a young vibrant, incredible and independent woman even if her years are getting up there - I make sure that the people who treat mum as if she was not there have to acknowledge her as a person in her own right!

You look at me and see only the wrinkles, the white hair and tired eyes.

You look at me and see 'old and useless' written all over my face.

You look at me as if I am worthless now that my years have passed yours by!

But...

I look at you and see what I once was and where I am now.

I look at you and remember, remember all those hopes and dreams.

I look at you and see your future, and, it is one with mine -

with wrinkled brow and shuffling feet.

I look at you and see how I feel - young inside and full of youth!

To ignore another, no matter who they are or what their age, creed or sex is, denying that person and negating their existence - they are part of the whole and should be acknowledged and respected!

WE ARE EACH OF US ANGELS

with only one wing and we can only fly by embracing one another

Luciano de Crescenzo

When I was a small child we had an elderly friend, who was in his 90's and we would sit around him engrossed when he would tell about his life. He was born in the1890's and had so many experiences to convey about his early years as a surveyor in pioneer New Zealand. He was incredible and still went deep sea fishing with his wife, who was in her late 80's - and often mum - but sadly his family was not interested in his 'stories'. When he died nothing had been written down so all his memories/life experiences were lost. Sadly his story is indicative of many.

Youth is so very impatient, they see old age as useless and past their prime.

But what you see young man is so very different from who I am, for,

I am as ageless as the mountains and as I look into the future I see something you do not see!

I see you growing old too, just like me!

So I turn to you and say, "Hey young man, wisdom is the gift of old age and you will attain it too!"

Another experience that I have had with an elderly person being mistreated is when living in Australia. We had some friends who 'looked' after the woman's father and yes, he had a lovely granny flat, food to eat and clothing to wear but no-one spent time with him, listened to his stories or conversed with him on a regular basis. He was basically overlooked in the daily 'rush' of the others living in the house and would sit on the patio staring out to space - everyday. This lovely man had so much to give and tell as he lived during the first world war, fought in the second, experienced the depression and the ensuing years during the 1960's, cold war. When mum and I left Australia he was still alive (well into his 90's) but we heard that not long after we arrived in New Zealand he had died. Whenever we visited his face would light up when we sat with him, asking questions and soaking up his wonderful life. His daughter would often say:-

"I can't believe how Dad perks up when you guys come visit."

This woman really did not realize what the family were doing to him even when we, tactfully, tried to make her see that he only needed some time spent with them and, to be listened to and valued.

So dear friends, please be aware of our older people and how we treat them either consciously or unconsciously:-

- respect their age and wisdom,

- respect the fact that they came before us, came before us to pave the way for future life, for our children and grandchildren and,

- remember we too will age and would we want to be ignored, made to feel useless, worthless, be disrespected and mistreated as some older people are?

Let us look at what is inside a person, they need to be accepted for who they are NOT what they look like. White hair and wrinkles are not who they are - they still have their place in the world they still have purpose and worth and so,let us respect their age and what they represent. Do NOT ignore them AS, REMEMBER you too will be old one day!

Age is a matter of feeling not of years

`Washington Irving

When I first started teaching one little boy kept staring at me and finally, after about two weeks, asked me this,

"You're very old aren't you?"

Of course I laughed as I knelt down beside him and replied, "Oh Thomas, yes I am older than you but not that old. You know you will be my age one day!"

"Oh," he said in a whisper looking at me with huge eyes, "will I?"

"Hmm, yes one day"

"So," he replied, very serious, "that means we will be the same age then?"

"Not quite Thomas, I will be older than you."

"Oh," he replied again," will you be old like my Nan and have grey hair and lines and... and have a stick!"

"Well... yes I suppose that I will."

"Oh well then," he said and bent over to give me a hug, " I will still love you just as much as I love my Nan!, even if you are old!"

This incident has always stayed with me as it shows us just how, as young children, we do not have the bias' that, unfortunately, as we grow older learn, or take on board (due the influences of others and society).

Blessed be our children who see through unscathed eyes.

Blessed be our children who laugh and love with us.

Blessed be our children who are the hero's of tomorrow life.

Blessed be our children who accept the young and old alike

as, their acceptance of everyone is part of their delight.

They are the piece of heaven, that bit that should be part of us but sadly, as we get older, it begins to turn to dust.

We start to learn and take on board what society does imbue and, alas, so will our blessed children they will start to too!

My hope today is that we all look around us and just realize that no matter how old the person walking beside you, towards you, living next door and the stranger you will meet tomorrow, is, that you treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve. The dignity and respect that you yourself would want to be treated with - my hope is that all children never learn to 'see' age with adult eyes but keep their childlike awe of those wrinkles and white hair always!

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My first inspirational book - 'Musings of a Blogger - Inspirational Thoughts for Your Life's Journey', (Published in 2016) is available through Balboa Press:-

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