Monday 30 March 2015

The Masks we Wear

We all at some time or another wear a mask - not a physical mask but a social mask - one that we put on before leaving the house to disguise or hide what we are truly feeling inside.

The Reader's Digest Oxford Complete Wordfinder defines 'Mask' as: a covering for all or part of the face: a disguise or: a concealment (of one's feelings).

Why do we feel we have to don that mask? Why can we not be ourselves, rather, why do we feel that we just cannot be ourselves? And why do we not have enough faith in ourselves to believe that we are just as good as the next person?
Norman Vincent Peale says such true words:-
Believe in yourself!
Have faith in your abilities!
Without a humble but
reasonable confidence
in you own powers you
cannot be successful or happy.
(Norman Vincent Peale)
Yes, all of us can wear a mask to hide such things as:
a fear of not fitting in:-
at a party, in a social setting,
at work, in a business meeting,
in the class room and, 
sadly even in our own family
OR
of hiding the truth of:-
being abused,
loneliness,
lack of confidence,
grief and expressing that grief to others,
being sick,
unhappy,
suicidal
being unfaithful,
AND
the list goes on-and-on!
Why are we afraid and wear these masks?
Are we afraid of being hurt further?
Of not fitting in?
 Of being belittled?
Are we ashamed? 
or
 what?
Inside we can be crying, lonely, heartbroken and full of despair
 but
on the outside we are carefree, laughing and happy-go-lucky!
MASKS
We all wear a thousand faces
and hide the one that's real,
we present an unruffled composure
and don't show what we feel.
Beneath that smiling exterior
we hide our hurts and fears,
we shy away from contact
just because it hurts.
We chat amiably to each other
not really caring to dig,
we feel we cannot deal with
the hurts that we'd reveal.
But dear friend God gave us
the gift, through love, to heal
if we would truly listen
and look behind the mask.
A hug, a word, a moment shared
sometimes that's all that's needed.
The springs break-up, the hurt is healed
so let us really listen
and,
 hear what is not said
and,
use our hearts compassion
to show someone we care.
(Marie Caukwell - copyright)
As caring people we should look behind the facade that people present and not take them at face value.
Instead, it need only take us a moment to
LISTEN
and
 LOOK
behind that smile, laughter, brightness
and then
 we might see pain, unhappiness, loneliness or some other hurt.
It need only take us a moment to forget ourselves and see the mask that is being worn,
the mask that is hiding or covering up something.
Then...
we can give a hug,
hold a hand,
 say a kind word
and
be there for that person.

The call to
SIMPLICITY AND FREEDOM
is a reminder that our worth
comes not from the amount
of our involvements,
achievements, or possessions,
but from the
DEPTH AND CARE
which we bring to each moment,
place, and person in our lives
(Richard A,Bower)
Dear friends
my hope for you today, and everyday, is that if you are wearing a mask throw it away and let us meet  each other face-to-face with honesty and compassion. Have the confidence to be who you are -go out there and embrace YOU! Embrace your personality, looks, feelings and your whole life. If you need support do not be afraid to seek it, if you are hurting do not be afraid to say so and KNOW that YOU are worth it! You are worth it!
take care
Ruth  


Sunday 22 March 2015

Loss - Overcoming and Living Again

There are many kinds of losses in our lives but none so painful and devastating as the loss of a person, or people we love. For those who have some kind of faith - in God, a higher being or believe in another form of life after death - the belief that they will see their loved one again often can sustain them during this period of mourning, change and readjustment. And for those who believe that death is final, having such things as keep sakes and photographs, etc., plus memories, can be the sustaining force behind overcoming such a loss.

In saying this though coping through such a time in our lives can be a very difficult one, one so painful that we feel that we will never live again - I know as I lost both my father (in his 50's) and my sister (in her 30's) through illness. 

But... even through the pain and suffering, if we believe that our loved ones are with us - and they are: in our memories, thoughts and the legacy they have left behind through how they shaped and influenced our lives - we CAN live again and live a fulfilling, wonderful life!

Here is a beautiful poem written at least fifty years ago (not sure by whom) which I would love to share as it reminds us that even though our loved ones have left us with their passing we can remember them through the beauty that we see around us:

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
 
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.  
 
 
It is never easy to overcome our emotions, to believe in life again - to live, laugh, love and be happy - when the person, or people, that we love have left us but if:-
In bleak difficult times
we look to our inner resources.
Then, in these times of conflict,
we will find that we have the ability to deal with that conflict
thus,
we can live in peace!
 
Yes...
sometimes our emotions can become our conflict -
a conflict which can fill our core with:
 grief:
the unfairness,
the hurt,
the betrayal of being left alone...
the sadness,
the guilt and,
the loneliness!
 
Yes...
grief can become our pain 
which, if we let it it, can make us:
bitter,
resentful,
miserable and,
a recluse from life!
 
But...
if you ride out this pain
and keep your loved one in your heart...
your mind...
your memories...
and your soul...
you will eventually find
Hope...
Peace...
Love and...
you will 
Live again!
 
When our eyes cannot find the way
and
the storms of life close in,
although we may lose much,
our love of life
still
runs strongly through out veins.
This helps us climb the difficult path to the top of our mountain!
 
 
So dear friends
If you have suffered a loss of a loved one take heart in the belief that you can and will live again! 
 
so take care and keep your good memories close, share them and talk about them to others - let your loved one live in you!
Ruth 

Sunday 8 March 2015

Loneliness and Hope

                                'Loneliness' the very sound of the word has a haunting quality and,
                                    Loneliness can tug at one's heart leaving an echo of emptiness. 


Loneliness is everywhere and can be found anywhere: on a crowded bus; in a restaurant; at a party; in a schoolroom; at work and even within a family. 
       
           You can be A lone in the wilderness but lonely amongst a multitude, as loneliness can be vastly different from being alone.

One of The Reader's Digest Oxford dictionary definitions for Alone is: Single handed; by oneself and; for Loneliness it is: solitude, desolation; isolation and seclusion.

You can be alone yet be happy and contented, but being lonely can be like a virus - incidious - as it can creep up on you or, strike you with a vengence, and, often there is no control over it.  Loneliness is impartial to who you are or what you have - it can strike anybody even if they are: rich, poor - live on the streets or in a mansion; single, partnered, have ten children or have none; work as a business person or a cashier, etc.

      Many of us have experienced adversity, pain and sorrow which can often bring on loneliness,
    something which can fill our whole being and bring us to our knees, making life seem worthless.
                                                                          BUT,
                 as hard as it is we must ride through the loneliness and those negative feelings,
                                                                            as,
                                Loneliness does not have to be forever, or rule your life!

      
                        If we realise the setbacks in our lives are a turning point to something better,
                                                          the universe is open to us.
                                                      If we can turn our lives around
and
live in hope,
we will see and know
the richness that people
and
life
has to offer!      

                                                 So, INSTEAD of living with loneliness,
                                                                       reach out.
                                                               Hold onto HOPE,
                                                                            as:
                                                     HOPE can move mountains;
               HOPE is what has saved many a person who has gone through the most horrific times;
                                                   HOPE is innate within us all even YOU;
                                                      HOPE is YOUR lifeline to overcome;
               HOPE is the beginning of YOU changing your OWN world, your OWN circumstances,
                                                           
                                                                   and so, dear Friends          

                  LIVE and NURTURE HOPE and you can conquer anything including loneliness!

                                                                 
                                                     The tapestry of a life lived with HOPE

                                                      lets us anticipate what that life can be!


                                            USE that HOPE to reach out and grasp life,
                                                                               to
                                                                negate that loneliness,
                                                                               to
                                   ask for help - even if you can only take baby steps at first,
                                                                             but...
                                                                             DO...
                                                                      dear friends,
                                                     grasp hold of your innate HOPE,
                                                                       your OWN LIFE,
                                                                              and,
                                             take a chance to change the way you think
                                                                              and,
                                                                              DO!
               
                                                                 Change your thoughts
                                                                     and you change
                                                                       your world.

                                                              (Norman Vincent Peale)


                                               It will not be easy and you will have to work at it,
                                                                              but,
                                                                      dear friends,
                                                         have faith in yourself to overcome!

                                                                   GREAT THINGS
                                                                      are not done
                                                                       by impulse,
                                                                    but by a series
                                                                    of small things
                                                                  brought together.
                                                    
                                                                (Vincent van Gogh)


Have a great day... week... month... and YEAR...
and live with HOPE - use it to overcome - ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!

regards
Ruth




                           

                                                             



Thursday 5 March 2015

The Wait is Over!

                                Happy day to you all my friends and yes, the wait is over -
                the wait for my second ebook of short stories to be released on Amazon, that is!

YES - 'An Anthology of Three Women 2 - Unveiling the True Essence of a Woman' has been released for Kindle readers (Kindle readers easy and free to download from Amazon) - So be one of the first people to read it!
http://www.amazon.com/Ruth-Anne-Caukwell/e/B00QWHA4FG/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1425667634&sr=8-1

Refer to Blog entry for a synopsis on my e-book - Sunday February 1st, 2015 - 'Long Awaited An Anthology of Three Women 2'
http://ruanca.blogspot.co.nz/2015/02/long-awaited-anthology-of-three-women-2.html

1. The first short story is about a woman struggling to cope after her daughter is killed in a car accident - her partner survived but the tug of guilt, blame and recriminations between them is destroying their relationship. Read about the anguish and pain of one woman as she comes to terms with a life changing event - but then something happens that jolts her back to the reality that she could lose the man that she truly loves, she could lose him if bitterness and unforgiveness that she feels continues to rule her life.
               
                 Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it!

This woman must take the first step, one that will not be easy but one that if she was to take, would start the healing process between her and this man she still loves deeply - what she finds though when she returns home is not what she expects!
 People are bound together with the threads of love
and that is the strength that unites us
so,
forgiving, blending and tolerance
need not be overpowering
but
soft, gentle and strong.
So,
loving one another
and forgiving one another
brings harmony to our lives!
 
2. The second short story is about a woman who has suffered long-term bullying. This comes to a head and culminates in a degrading meeting where her character is torn to bits - what can she do, what must she do if she is to survive this degrading and soul destroying event? Will it destroy her or will she rise above these people whose only aim is to pull her down and crush both her spirit and soul?

Refer to my Blog entry on bullying - Saturday January 24th, 2015 - 'What a world we live in'
http://ruanca.blogspot.co.nz/2015/01/what-world-we-live-in.html


3. The third short story depicts a family in change - a father who cannot cope with the death of his wife a year previous and seeks comfort in a woman who his youngest daughter does not approve of; a sister who leaves home to live with her boyfriend, which results in the inevitable and; a young girl, just emerging from her childhood into her teenage years, whose only way of coping with this turmoil is to take a path towards destruction. Her world is out of control but one way of survival is to take control of her OWN LIFE and HER OWN BODY. This path of destruction nearly destroys the young girl and her family, when they find out, but what can be done... is it to late to save her or has the consequences of her actions already led her down a road of no return for both herself and her family?

                        Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it.
                                        Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.
                                       All things are bound together, all things connect!


So dear Friends
            I hope that you enjoy my stories as they are written to depict a snapshot of what we as
                                                   humans can and do go through.
                                               They are written to depict how we as
                     humans, consciously and unconsciously, affect those around us with our actions.
                                                        They are written so we as
                      humans can realise the harm and the good that we can do to each other.
                                                 They are written, dear friends, so we as
                       humans can know that no matter what we go through each of us has a future,
                 one that can be full of love and happiness if we believe and trust in one another and,
                                         treat people as we ourselves would want to be treated.

                                                            If the peoples on this earth
                                                      are to continue to live together,
those who remember how it once was
must join together and teach the young
what living and loving each other 
truly means.


                                                            Take care, regards
                                                                        Ruth