The Three C's of Life - CHOICES, CHANCES and CHANGES

What is LIFE?

This is a question that has been asked from the beginning of time...

 and we all ask it, 

but...

 who among us can REALLY answer in a way that explains JUST what it is?

Yes...

LIFE is physical...

it is mental...

it is spiritual and...

it is being alive - feeling sensations, hearing, seeing and thinking, 

but....,

LIFE is also a journey...

a DESTINATION!

It is OUR DESTINATION! 

From the day each of us are born to the day we pass over we are travelling on a JOURNEY... 

to reach OUR OWN DESTINATION!

Where to?

With Whom?

How long?

None of us know....

 not even our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, teachers, partners, colleagues or even strangers

can tell us where we each are heading...!

Sure, we are INFLUENCED by our upbringing, culture, ethnicity, religion, society.... and...by others, 

but...

 no one can tell us where we are going or what our JOURNEY will ENTAIL - they do not know our DESTINATION, in fact...

WE OURSELVES do not even know!

LIFE is a JOURNEY...

a DESTINATION, 

but...

it is also JOURNEY of DISCOVERY too!

YOU are the TRAVELER as you travel the JOURNEY OF LIFE -

YOU make the CHOICES - 

YOU take the CHANCES - 

YOU live the CHANGES! 

You are not born a winner, you are not born a loser but you are born a CHOOSER!

so...

TAKE a CHANCE, and...

 CHOOSE to be HAPPY no matter what... 

CHOOSE to make those DECISIONS that fulfill you and make your life GOOD!

 LIFE and CIRCUMSTANCES can dictate:

 how you feel...

what you do...

your thoughts and feelings,

but...

IT IS UP TO YOU TOO!
so...

CHOOSE  to make your OWN JOURNEY one of PURPOSE... POWER...STRENGTH!

 CHOOSE and take the CHANCE to CHANGE what needs CHANGING!

You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change

(Michael Baisden)

My friends

If contrary winds blow strong in your face, go forward never turning back instead...

continue to press forwards...

onwards and...

upwards as...

you do not need to have a lot of might to be victorious!

Your life is a JOURNEY, a DESTINATION... but in the travelling YOU, 

Yes...

YOU have the CHOICE to take the CHANCES to make those CHANGES that are necessary to live the best life possible for YOU!

May peace and stillness be with you in your journey, Ruth

Challenge Your Thought Patterns Today!

 Look at yourself and what do you really see...?

What do you think of yourself and do you know who you are... ?

We see ourselves one way but our loved ones and friends see us another way...

Which is the real you?

Disappointments and happenings can often take us down a path that we would not have chosen for ourselves.

Dreams and desires can be lost in a maelstrom of chaos where our AUTHENTIC SELF can get overwhelmed and buried.

Life and events can threaten to sweep us away and we lose sight of who we really are and...
we form negative tapes -
we begin to judge ourselves...
we fall into negative patterns resulting in...
 negative thoughts...
negative self talk and...
negative beliefs about ourselves -
some of these may have laid dormant but emerge due to a build up of  current circumstances and...
some we form as we become buffeted by the storms of life.

Do we play act through life with a false attitude and image hiding the hurt behind a wall...

covering up how we feel and who we really are?

There are a lot of different ways of covering up your feelings such as becoming ...

Aggressive and loud...
Do you bluster and bully your way through life?

Are you a doormat or a cowering mouse...
Do you accept other people's treatment of you, never fighting back and standing up for yourself?

Do you push your way through to the front or do you creep in and sit at the back?

How do you cover up and...
just what are your negative tapes?

Do you even know?
If not please sit down with a pen and paper in your hand and start to think about them...
start to challenge them as...

These negative tapes, which if not recognized and chagllenged, will stunt our growth because...

The experiences we go through and what we put into our mind help form:-
The ideals that we have...

the judgments that we make and...

the value that we place upon ourselves, as human beings.

Sadly many of these are filled with incorrect data - DATA that are just OPINIONS...

OPINIONS we form about ourselves and NOT TRUE FACTS! 

YES -  they are NOT TRUE FACTS ABOUT OURSELVES and WHO we REALLY ARE!
INSTEAD...
they are just OPINIONS that enable us to set up all sorts of BARRIERS for ourselves based upon INCORRECT DATA - DATA that is  PERCEIVED and NOT REAL!

Our THOUGHT PATTERNS and SELF TALK help form our BELIEFS, and...
 are two of the most important things that dictate our BEHAVIOUR...!
These are in turn reflected in each other and thus forms a CYCLE which goes round-and-round!

BEHAVIOUR-BELIEF - BEHAVIOUR - BELIEF - BEHAVIOUR...

This never ending CYCLE forces us into a CIRCLE of THINKING PATTERNS which,
if filled with NEGATIVITY,
 leads us into LOW SELF ESTEEM which...
 in turn feeds the CYCLE - with NEGATIVE FOOD!. 

Do you want to live your life in this way?
Do you want to be controlled by your NEGATIVE TAPES?
Do you want to live your life not doing things that you are capable of...?
Do you want to live your life behind a wall...?
Do you really want to continue going through life FOOLING yourself by PERCEIVED OPINIONS and...
NOT living it through REAL FACTS?

ASK YOURSELF TODAY?
DECIDE!
Is it AUTHENTICITY AND REAL FACTS or...
is it NEGATIVE TAPES and PERCEIVED OPINIONS that you want to live by?
DECIDE TODAY!

CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS... NOW!

In truth may I walk and in truth may I live!
Through all the returning seasons may I grow and change -
just as summer turns into spring and spring into autumn and autumn into winter -
may I move and grow with life,
 singing with the birds,
 walking through the trails marked with ferns and trees,
with flowers blooming fresh and snow falling thick.

May I live with truth and let truth lead me...
guide me and help me live my life to the full!

I was born in truth...
let me live in truth and..
finish in truth!

(Ruth Anne Caukwell)

Dear friends

decide today whether you will live by perceived opinions about yourself or in real facts - take some time to look at what you think about yourself and ask yourself some hard questions - do you have NEGATIVE TAPES?  

CHALLENGE YOUR THINKING and DISCOVER a NEW AUTHENTIC YOU!

peace and love be with you, regards Ruth

Self Esteem - What Are Your Values?

SELF ESTEEM!

Just what is it?

Self Esteem is the VALUE that we place on OURSELVES !

And, it is that VALUE which determines our ability to experience satisfaction in life - OUR LIFE!

The extent to which we VALUE ourselves is a product of PAST EXPERIENCES...

OUR SUCCESSES and FAILURES (as we perceive them) and...

the SUPPORT and RECOGNITION we receive from others,
especially those who have played an important part, or are significant, in our life and...

it is the SUPPORT, LOVE and RECOGNITION (or maybe lack of it) that we receive in our younger years!

ALL of these aspects influence how and what we feel about ourselves RIGHT NOW -
 it influences our SELF ESTEEM - 
our SELF WORTH and...

our BELIEFS!

We LOVE ourselves:-

 to the extent that we KNOW HOW...

to the extent that we ourselves HAVE BEEN LOVED and...

we are only ABLE TO LOVE OTHERS, to the extent that, WE LOVE OURSELVES!!!

HOW TELLING THIS IS!

SO... 

depending on whatever our SELF ESTEEM - low, medium or high - is,
and...

depending on whatever our SELF VALUE is,
 and...

depending on what our SELF BELIEFS are, 

they all reflect in HOW NEGATIVELY or  POSITIVELY we...

SEE...

THINK and...

TALK to ourselves!

Do you have LIMITING BELIEFS - 
'I'm too young, too old, too fat, to thin. I'm a woman, a man, I'm the wrong culture, too poor, too dumb, do not have the education, I've failed, I've had a bad childhood' and...
the list goes on and on...

Are you holding onto these LIMITING BELIEFS as tightly as you can? 

Are you letting NEGATIVE SELF TALK SABOTAGE YOUR FUTURE?

Are you STUCK because of FEAR, 
or...

do you hide behind a WALL OF HURT with no GATE to get out?

IS THIS YOU?

IF IT IS - THINK ABOUT THESE FOUR ASPECTS -

YOUR - BELIEFS... SELF TALK... FEELINGS... ACTIONS!

All of these are cyclical in nature and...
 one leads to another to another to another!

If you have LIMITING or NEGATIVE BELIEFS, 

your SELF TALK will be LIMITING or NEGATIVE, 
and...

your FEELINGS will be LIMITING or NEGATIVE, 
and...

your ACTIONS will be LIMITING or NEGATIVE!

This will go on-and-on throughout your life - it will ruin your happiness... success,
 and...

 ability to love!

SO INSTEAD...

CONFRONT THAT BELIEF!

CONFRONT THAT SELF TALK!

CONFRONT THAT FEELING,
 and...

CONFRONT THAT ACTION,
 and...

BELIEVE in YOURSELF!

One of the hardest lessons you will learn in life is learning to believe in yourself!

Once you get that you will realize that you are capable of anything!

(Stven Aitchison)

Each of us is a unique being, there is no one else in the world... universe like us so...

YOU...

YES, YOU are very special!

You are a one-of-kind,
 and...
 here in this world NOW, in this TIME and SPACE!

You are here to SHINE in your OWN WAY no matter...

what someone thought about you...

what they said to you...

how they treated you...

in the PAST or NOW!

Do not let FEAR of releasing what you ALREADY KNOW go!

I know that it can be SAFE and COMFORTABLE behind that WALL!

But that WALL has been MADE out of - 

REJECTION...

COMPARISONS...

STEREOTYPES...

INFERIORITY and...

many other negative aspects!

Do not let THESE control your BELIEFS...

SELF TALK...

FEELINGS and...

ACTIONS!

Do not PLAY these things around-and-around in your MIND like a BROKEN RECORD as...

the PERCEPTION that you have of YOURSELF is fully dependent upon all of these!

SO...

CHANGE YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF, 

do not be AFRAID...

make a GATE in your WALL and...

STEP OUT into LIFE - YOUR LIFE...

YOUR LIFE as it was MEANT to be LIVED!

Dear friends,

I wish you love... grace... hope and the courage to fight - FIGHT for YOUR OWN LIFE as...

You are the creator of your own reality...

and it is through your own BELIEFS, SELF TALK, FEELINGS and ACTIONS that you can live the best life EVER!

Because YOU are the CHOOSER of your THOUGHTS...

SO... 
let those old LIMITING, SELF NEGATIVE BELIEFS, SELF TALK, FEELINGS 
and...
ACTIONS go 
and... 

work towards a happier, more positive YOU!

I know that life does not play by the 'RULES' but in the long run everything will work out so... 

my friends...

GO FORTH IN TRUST AND HOPE OF WHO AND WHAT YOU REALLY ARE!

Do You Have a Dream?

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

Live the life you have imagined!

(Goethe)

Do you have a dream?

Have you written it down... 

drawn around it in bright colours or...

written a date besides it?

Is it a concrete dream or just an airy-fairy thought or group of thoughts?

Is life too busy...too stressful...

TO HARD for you so...

 you shove your dream away in the depths of you mind?

Are there too many of life's obstacles in the way - 

too old, too many children, not enough money, no encouragement and...

the list can go on-and-on!

Did you know most people never get what they really truly want out of life - 

because they do not know for sure what it is...

they make excuses...

they let things crowd in...

or...

they lose their dreams within the storms of life!

STOP!

TAKE A MINUTE TO HAVE HOPE!

BE OPTIMISTIC and just,

HANG IN THERE!

TAKE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE ONE STEP AT A TIME!

Be unwilling to settle for whatever has come or comes your way and ask yourself... 

no....

get to know - by spending time with yourself - what makes your SOUL SING!

What is it that you REALLY TRULY want!

Ask yourself questions - 

'What make me feel the most alive?'

'What were my dreams when I was a child?'

'What would I do if I had the confidence to follow my dreams?'

MAKE A LIST OF QUESTIONS THAT SUIT YOURSELF AND ANSWER THEM!

Do it!

DO IT NOW!

As you unearth... discover and write down your dreams - the ones that make you feel excited... and motivated...

you will become responsive to bring about change in your life so that you can begin...

so that you can make a start to achieving what you want!

START YOUR JOURNEY TO YOUR DREAMS!

'A SMOOTH SEA NEVER MADE A SKILLED MARINER'

(English Proverb)

On every journey within your life obstacles will arise but be determined to make the very best choices that you can - GROW from any difficulties and...

SLAY those demons!

Whether they are REAL - such as lack of finances or,

IMAGINED - such as feeling that you are not worthy of success or,

seemingly OUT OF YOUR CONTROL - such as difficulties breaking into the career of your choice...

have FAITH as there will be a way to break them down and continue with your dream!

Go forth into the days ahead with a STEADFAST  BELIEF and HOPE that things will work out okay!

Count your BLESSINGS!

Climb those LADDERS!

Be STONG and be PATIENT!

Use WISDOM to make those RIGHT CHOICES!

SEEK and SURROUND yourself with the RIGHT PEOPLE for you and your dreams!

Do some SOUL SEARCHING too!

ACKNOWLEDGE what might be holding you back, look at those EXCUSES and...

REALIZE that you have an incredible amount of POWER - it is all in your OWN HANDS when it comes to directing your life!

YES... circumstances and life crowds in...

fear can rule your mind...

procrastination can shape your day...

challenges can arise that will suck you dry...

BUT...

take a deep breath and BREAK THROUGH your FEARS -

CONTINUE on your journey of life... of change...

MOVE TOWARDS those DREAMS...

do not wait for that KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR to slay the DRAGON of 

INDECISION and FEAR -

DO IT YOURSELF!

AND

BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS...

BELIEVE IN YOUR HAPPY ENDING...

because it is in YOUR HANDS and YOU ARE THE AUTHOR of YOUR OWN STORY!

Dear friends

'THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP'

(Chinese Proverb)

and

'SUCCESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION'

(Anonymous)

so go forth and follow your dreams!

EMBRACE CHANGE!

CHANGE!

Change - what is it... what does it mean?

According to the 'Oxford English Dictionary' change means: to make or become different; to exchange one thing for another or; to move from one to another!

Yes... it is inevitable that CHANGE will occur within our lives and,

when change occurs it can happen in directions that we would never have imagined.

Sometimes...

we can cope with and look forward to CHANGE but,

sometimes...

 it is difficult to deal with, causes conflict  and we dread it!

Change touches us in so many ways and through so many things - 

more than can ever be mentioned here but,

 whether change occurs due to...

 world wide, social, family or personal reasons 

 it depends upon both our circumstances, attitudes and CHOICES,

 as to how much WE let it affect us.

Every change in our lives, 

whether we seem to cope or not,

will however strengthen us for the next to come.

It is not the way of life to live without knowing a storm or two -

and for every struggle -

whether internal or external,

we will experience CHANGE...

CHANGE...

this can either strengthen or defeat!

BUT... 

CHANGE...

CHANGE is good!

 It is good because...

 growth, strength and courage is not won through the absence of conflict - 

whether internal or external, 

it instead comes from the ability to look at and deal with CHANGE!

CHANGE can touch each of us in varying ways - sometimes hardly at all

 but... 

sometimes CHANGE is so personal that our very essence itself is affected.

The only person each of us is destined to be is the person that WE decide that we want to be and...

how we deal with CHANGES that come within our voyage of life. 

It is our CHOICES, as much as the paths and opportunities, we take or...

ignore...

 that influences the manner with which we deal with CHANGE.

So... 

each day look around and be happy with the CHOICES that you have made in your life 

and,

 the CHANGES that have come from them.

For CHOICES influence CHANGE

and,

CHANGE influences our life so,

EMBRACE CHANGE as,

CHANGE ultimately makes our voyage of life... our voyage of discovery complete - 

it shapes the way it was meant to be for each of us! 

So my dear friends

The real voyage of

discovery lies not

in seeking new landscapes,

but in having new eyes.

(Marcel Proust)

The Stoppers in Our Life

Today I had an appointment and afterwards, to replenish my soul, I went to sit by the seaside to reflect and think things through!

Oh how beautiful it was!

There had been a couple of days of stormy weather so the sea was rough and wild - the waves were crashing and the wind howling a real breeze. 

What was so amazingly wonderful was the huge piles of seaweed washed up on the shore...

some still coming in and going out with the movement of the tide.

A number of the piles of seaweed had huge stumps on the bottom and tree-like 'trunks',

some with one, two and even three - emerging from them!

They looked like giant plugs at the base and...

emerging from the tree-like 'trunks' were an array of tangled, wild and rambling 'branches'...

some thick...

some thin and...

others so fine that they looked like filigrees of hand-made lace.

Walking amongst this amazing spectacle,

 whilst watching the waves crash onto the shore,

with the seagulls picking and scrambling amongst these washed-up giants,

I wondered!

I wondered where they had come from...

how majestically they must have looked in life with their forms floating upwards under the ocean and swaying in the currents! 

What fish...

what creatures must have passed them by...

how old were they and...

what had they seen?

If they could talk what could they tell us?

If they could hear what would they have heard?

But...

sadly...

I would get nothing out of them as they lay on the beach,

 their majesty and glory when in the water,

 dulled and dying now that they were out on dry land.

But...

they still had a magnificent beauty and

I saw that beauty still...

I saw that beauty in WHAT they REPRESENTED to me! 

What you might ask?

To me they represented the PLUGS...

the STOPPERS that we have within our lives!

The BASES upon where we often plant our feet and from there let our whole existence emerge and grow...

but, not in a healthy way!

For instead,

 these PLUGS...

these STOPPERS... 

bung-up and stunt who we really are...

they limit our being and deprive us of many things!

What are they you might ask?

sadness

anger

resentment

hatred

apathy and procrastination

regret

jealousy
even some people, and...

so many many more things.

BUT...
 these huge PLUGS or STOPPERS, with their tree-like 'trunks' and myriad of branches,
had been pulled up out of the seafloor,
 where they had been born, lived their life, been 'fed' and 'grew'...
seemingly there forever!

NOW...
they were just lying there devoid of life as,
 they had became lost in the wild and stormy sea,
just like we can be...!
Sometimes we get lost when we take a wrong turning,
we allow the PLUGS to bung-up all those good things open to us,
AND
we let them STOP our life from blossoming...

So my friends,

take a moment out of your busy life and look for those STOPPERS that keep YOU from growing into the most wonderful human being that you were meant to be!

Our life is a journey

and

 it is up to us which path we take

and

 what direction we move in.

We can be like a fern frond,

tightly rolled up and closed,

or...

we can open up to the good things in life.

Make up your mind...

you can DO IT!

 

regards Ruth

FORGIVENESS can be so very hard to do!

Forgiveness can be so very hard to do...!

Just read this quote by 'rawforbeauty.com':

'The first to apologize is the bravest.

The first to forgive is the strongest.

And, the first to forget is the happiest!'

What amazing words and oh so very true.....

Apologizing, forgiving and forgetting are PRECIOUS PRIVILEGES! 

This is so because...

in having the strength, grace and kindness to, blame no one and expect nothing but instead,

do something, is as a balm to your soul 

but to take on board the behavior of others will only add to the burdens within us.

APOLOGIZING is letting go of the grudge, hatred and resentment which are like a worms inside an apple - they will only eat you up inside! It is a brave step to say sorry (which does not mean that you are necessarily the one in the wrong or at fault only that... you are sorry about the misunderstanding, action or words having occurred!)  

FORGIVING and especially being the first to forgive, shows a wisdom and strength beyond compare (you do not have to forgive because you were either right or wrong that does not matter - you forgive to find a peace within and to heal the wound!) 

FORGETTING is the only real step for moving on in your life and only then can happiness be in reach (forgetting does not mean that you condone any action or words... but it means allowing you the freedom to carry on - a space without irons and chains to weigh you down)

so my friends... Apologize, forgive and forget!

________________________

FORGIVENESS, such an easy word to say but oh... such a hard thing to do!

Why is that so? I do not have the answers and I do not think that anyone else does either!

FORGIVENESS, such an easy word to say and oh... such a necessary thing to do!

Why is that so? I know it is so because without FORGIVENESS... either SELF-FORGIVENESS or FORGIVENESS of others... you cannot love!

As, one cannot truly FORGIVE unless they truly love and one, cannot truly love unless they truly FORGIVE!

It is necessary to not only forgive others but learn to forgive ourselves and yes, sometimes it can be a learning experience!

It is necessary to not only forgive ourselves for the wrong that we have done but also for what we have not done that was the right thing to do.

It is necessary to not only forgive ourselves for the words that we have spoken and also for those unspoken words that should have been said!

If the scarred mountain can forgive those who scarred her, and can cover up the scars with wild flowers, grass and tree should not you, who are worthy, be able to cover your own scars with fresh forgiveness, kindness and understanding too?

So, if I am worthy of FORGIVENESS are not my enemies worthy of FORGIVENESS TOO?

Forgiveness is like the pebble when thrown into the pond. Its ripples reach out in ever widening circles reaching things that we do not know about or even think exist! When you think of forgiving those who have hurt you it can seem an impossible thing to do, especially if the hurt that has been done to you has destroyed you or those that you love.

But, it must be done!

It must be done, if not for those who have hurt you it must be done for you!

You will ask, ‘How can this be done?’

When you think of those who harm others, either through words and actions of deceit or through words and actions of violence,

You will ask, ‘How can one FORGIVE?’

That is such a hard question to answer! And, I do not have any of the answers as they can only be found within your OWN SELF!

Yes, each of us has to find a way! Our OWN WAY of coping with and releasing personal hurt and pain and FORGIVE!

But,  to be able to release the hurt, pain and resentment a conscious choice must be made to FORGIVE and FORGIVE fully with sincerity and in all honesty!

"I forgive you"

Say these words, write them down and put the name of the person who has harmed you with it too… even if it is yourself!.

YES, write down ALL the hurts, pain and resentments that you have suffered and say OUT ALOUD, "I RELEASE YOU AND LET YOU GO.”

Then, burn the paper and let it go!

All I know is that resentment grows into hatred and hatred grows into vengeance and VENGEANCE DESTROYS so...

To all those who do, or have done, you harm or speak ill of you show FORGIVENESS:

To all those who wish, or have wished, you ill show COMPASSION:

As to the life and soul of those who FORGIVE, it is a BALM.

So, if FORGIVENESS is a BALM to OUR OWN life and soul, how do we know what FORGIVENESS does to the ONE WHO IS FORGIVEN!

Dear Friends

I know from personal experience what forgiveness does to the spirit and soul - the burden of hatred, resentment and vengeance eats up any humanity that exists within you and sadly grows heavier and heavier each day it survives. To forgive is not easy but forgiveness, if done, releases a soul, your OWN, and then... only then can you live a life that can move on, find contentment and happiness.

take care my friends and FORGIVE as it is the path to freedom...!

Ruth

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